


Fireworks

by drewandian



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:43:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2122353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drewandian/pseuds/drewandian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team is stuck in a small town on the 4th of July and JJ wants to see fireworks. Emily is more than happy to oblige.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @MyCaptainRaydor on Twitter; hoping this makes up for the craptastic week you've had, sweets!

"Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colours burst  
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe"

~Katy Perry~

 

 

 

It’s the 4th of July and they’re stuck in another non-descript small town, wrapping up another case, waiting for Morgan to be cleared to fly so that they can go home. The bullets hit his vest, he’s suffered bruised ribs, nothing serious but enough to keep them grounded for the night.

The good thing about small towns, JJ tells Emily, is that they always have great fireworks displays on the 4th. Their sense of patriotism and love of traditions leads to celebrations that go on til the wee hours of the morning, all kicked off by fireworks. Even the recent killings can’t stifle this strict adherence to tradition, the knowledge that the killer is behind bars having the citizens feeling safe and secure for the first time in weeks.

Emily stifles a grin as JJ tells her about the fireworks. You don’t have to be a profiler to see that JJ is itching to go watch. When Emily makes the suggestion, JJ’s eyes light up like a child on Christmas morning. They invite the rest of the team, but the guys all beg off, claiming they’re too tired and want to take advantage of the down time to get some rest.

They manage to rustle up a blanket from a nurse whose only request is that the pair take some pictures of the fireworks and head off to the local park.

They find a secluded spot and settle in. They’re outsiders here, and while they’ve earned a sort of hero status for catching the unsub, it doesn’t feel right to intrude on the community’s tradition.

Emily lies back on the blanket, her hands behind her head. JJ reclines next to her, propping herself up on her elbows. She sighs, finally feeling some of the tension from the past few days leave her body. She’s able to let her guard down now that the  unsub’s been apprehended and they know Morgan will be ok.

She can feel Emily relaxing beside her, as much as Emily ever relaxes anyway.  JJ remembers when Emily first joined the team – how awkward and uncomfortable she was. How hard she’d tried to fit in. And she remembers thinking that it was silly for Emily to worry.

Emily Prentiss was the kind of woman who fit in everywhere. And JJ couldn’t help but be more than a little captivated by her.

She glances at the brunette, peeking through her lashes, not wanting to be caught looking. She watches as the lights of the fireworks play over Emily, her face open for the first time in months. 

Emily can feel JJ’s eyes on her, and turns to meet her gaze with a soft smile. She can’t remember the last time she’s simply lain back on a blanket under the stars and watched fireworks. It feels so *normal* and she feels herself letting her guard down.  Her smile widens and she laughs at little when JJ’s cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught looking.

JJ licks her lips, suddenly nervous. There’s something about sitting here with Emily, just the two of them, the fireworks flashing and booming above them, that she suddenly finds incredibly erotic. She leans down slowly, unsure of how Emily will react but unable to stop herself. She’s drawn to Emily like a moth to a flame and she forgets to be worried about being burned.

Emily can see the desire burning in JJ’s big blue eyes; her heart beat speeds up and she feels her body react. She pushes up on her elbows to meet JJ half way, that action bringing their lips within centimeters of each other.

JJ’s breath catches; she can feel the heat radiating off of Emily and it pushes her forward, her lips crashing brutally into Emily’s.

As quickly as she’s crashing into Emily and kissing her, JJ pulls back, her blue eyes wide and full of shock. She’s not impulsive like this, doesn’t act on instinct and feeling. She always considers the consequences, weighs the pros and cons.

There’s always been something about fireworks though; and Emily just _does_ something to her. Stirs something in her that she’s never felt before.

And it terrifies her. What if she’s read Emily completely wrong?

Emily can see the hesitation and doubt replace the desire in JJ’s eyes and frowns. The little bit of contact she’s had with the blonde has her heart racing and her body humming for more. She sits up and cups JJ’s head in her hands, kissing her soundly.

Emily feels JJ gasp and stiffen before relaxing in the kiss. JJ pushes back, her tongue darting out to seek entrance. Emily opens up to her, letting JJ explore, nip, kiss. Emily’s done this before, it’s nothing new for her. She suspects she’s JJ’s first, and is determined to let JJ take all she needs and wants.

JJ’s lungs begin to scream for air and she reluctantly pulls away from Emily, panting slightly. She grins and blushes when Emily groans. Emily’s hands are tangled in JJ’s hair, and she doesn’t loosen her grasp, keeping JJ’s face close to hers. They sit forehead to forehead, drawing in much-needed air.

JJ searches Emily’s eyes, although she honestly can’t say what she’s looking for. Reassurance, maybe, that they’re not about to make a huge mistake. Encouragement, a sign that it’s ok for her to push further. This is all new for JJ and she’s not sure if the same rules she’s played by for years apply here.

Emily sees the confusion, the questions, in JJ’s eyes and smiles. She presses her lips to JJ’s again, more gently this time, as a hand releases her hair and trails it down her arm. She pulls back from JJ just enough to look around, just to be sure they don’t have an audience.

The fireworks are still booming and flashing above, and the crowd is enthralled by them. And JJ and Emily are secluded enough that no one has noticed them.

Emily meets JJ’s eyes, so impossibly bright and blue, holds her gaze as she slowly moves her hand to unbutton JJ’s top. She pushes it over her shoulders, down her arms and away, never once dropping her brown eyes from JJ’s stare. JJ shivers slightly, her breathing speeding up.

Emily reaches around JJ to unhook her bra, drawing the straps down her arms slowly before letting it fall between them. She ghosts her hands over JJ’s stomach, working her way up to the blonde’s breasts. She takes them into her hands, marveling in the weight of them. Emily’s always loved the feel of a woman’s breasts in her hands, the skin so soft and supple.

JJ’s nipples are already hard, the shock of the night air bringing them to peaks. Emily runs her thumbs over them, and JJ groans as they impossibly tighten more.  The feel of a woman’s hands, slender and soft, on her skin is so different than what she knows. She arches her back into Emily’s touch, her eyes fluttering closed against her will. She wants to watch Emily’s eyes as the brunette touches her but she can’t seem to will her eyes to open again.

Emily drops her head, brushes JJ’s hair away from her neck and trials kisses along her neck. She follows a path down, across JJ’s collarbone, along the smooth skin of her breast, taking the nipple into her mouth. JJ moans as Emily’s tongue swirls around her nipple.

Emily slowly, gently, pushes JJ back, never breaking contact with her breast, until the woman is lying on her back. Her blonde hair fans out around her on the blanket, and she shifts her body until she’s lying comfortably. She opens her eyes to see the fireworks still exploding, one or two at a time, above her.

Emily moves to JJ’s other breast, giving it the same attention as the first, before kissing her way down JJ’s stomach to the waist band of her skirt. Here she stops, contemplating. She’s not eager to completely bare JJ in such a public place, no matter how badly she’d love to see the blonde naked and spread open to her.

Instead, she slides a hand up the inside of JJ’s thigh, moaning when she feels how damp JJ’s panties are. JJ’s throbbing, aching to be touched and Emily is moving at an agonizingly slow pace. She bucks her hips into the brunette’s hand.

Emily smirks at JJ’s impatience and slides her underwear down JJ’s legs. She moves her hand back to JJ’s core, the smirk sliding from her face, replaced by a dark look full of lust and desire.  She slides her fingers over JJ’s folds, slipping slightly. She circles her finger around JJ’s clit, teasing the blonde, drawing out moans of frustration and pleasure.

JJ groans Emily’s name, whines in protest at the woman’s avoidance, begs her to release the pressure that’s been slowly building deep in JJ’s belly.

Emily gazes at JJ, the blonde woman’s cheeks flushed pink, her breathing heavy and erratic, and she can’t hold back any more. Her fingers slide over JJ’s clit, bringing JJ to the edge quickly, before slowing down and pulling her back. Emily wants to watch JJ come, but not yet. It’s too soon.

Emily slowly, deliberately moves between JJ’s legs, pushing her skirt up enough to duck her head between JJ’s legs. She moves uses her tongue, her teeth, to bring JJ to the edge of oblivion again. When Emily suckles JJ’s clit, JJ just about comes unglued. When the brunette starts fucking JJ with her tongue, it’s all JJ can to do to not scream out.

Emily pulls away just before JJ comes, slinks her way up JJ’s body, drops kisses along her belly, breasts and neck along the way. She nibbles JJ’s jaw before taking her mouth. JJ moans into the kiss, can taste herself on Emily’s tongue.  The throbbing between her legs is almost unbearable now and she all but begs Emily to finish what she’s started.

Emily maintains the kiss, slowly exploring JJ’s mouth with her tongue as she slides two fingers over JJ’s clit and into her. The blonde is wet and tight and Emily groans into her mouth. She moves her fingers in and out of JJ, slowly at first, gradually picking up speed, her thumb circling JJ’s clit. She slides a third finger into JJ, pressing in deep, easily finding JJ’s G-spot and bringing the woman to climax just as the grand finale of the fireworks begins.

JJ can’t keep quiet anymore and calls out Emily’s name as she falls apart in the brunette’s hands.  Emily slows her fingers, drawing JJ’s orgasm out, grateful that the booms of the fireworks overhead cover JJ’s voice.

She is breathtaking in the multicolored flashes, and Emily’s breath catches. She’s not sure that this is going to be a regular thing for them, but she decides it’s something she wants to explore.

Emily feels JJ begin to relax and slides her fingers out of JJ, smoothing her skirt down as she goes. She pulls JJ up to a sitting position, cups her face, pushing her hair back as she kisses her gently.

“You OK?” Emily asks gently.

JJ nods, shivering slightly as a breeze blows over them. Her cheeks flush as she remembers that she’s sitting on a blanket, topless, with Emily. Emily smiles, hands JJ her bra and blouse, helps her hook the bra and button the blouse when JJ can’t make her trembling fingers cooperate.

Emily stands, holds a hand out to JJ to help her up. She ignores the throb between her own legs. They don’t have the time to do anything about it now, nor do they have the cover of fireworks any more.

When Emily moves to drop JJ’s hand, JJ’s fingers tighten around hers. “When we get back to Virginia, you’re mine.” The blonde all but growls, sending a shiver down Emily’s back. All the brunette can do is meet JJ’s eye, her brown eyes lighting up with passion and desire, and nod.

They gather their blanket and head back to the hospital, only realizing they’d forgotten to take pictures when they return the blanket to the nurse.


	2. Shut Up and Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another case in another small town. JJ gets her turn.

"Don't mean to get a little forward with you, don't mean to get ahead of where we are  
Don't mean to act a little nervous around you, I'm just a little nervous about my heart 'cause  
It's been awhile since I felt this feeling that everything that you do gives me  
It's been so long since somebody whispered  
Shut up and kiss me"

~Mary Chapin Carpenter

 

They’ve been back for a week. A long, mind-numbing, uneventful, paperwork-filled week. Morgan’s bruises are mostly healed; they’re all getting anxious and antsy. It’s not that they hope someone will go on some whacked out killing spree, but they all need a break in the monotony. Even Garcia is on edge and snaps at Hotch when he asks her to verify a statement a witness made in their last case.

JJ hasn’t said a word to Emily about what happened under the fireworks. It seems, Emily muses, that JJ has learned to compartmentalize with the best of them.

It’s almost like nothing has changed between them, and really Emily hadn’t expected it to. She’s almost grateful for it; JJ has Will and Henry and what they’d shared had never had the feel of “something more”.

Except Emily can’t help but remember a promise growled in the heat of passion and some days it drives her crazy. Especially days like today when JJ doesn’t want to be secluded in her office.

She’s pulled a chair up to the corner of Emily’s desk, just like she’s done hundreds of times before; has her phone calls forwarded to Emily’s phone.

The closeness is starting to get to Emily and she needs a distraction. She gets up to get them coffee, probably their third cup each, but on days like today, who’s counting? JJ is on the phone when she returns, the lines around her mouth and eyes telling Emily not to get comfortable. They’ve got a case.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s another small, non-descript town, just like so many of the others. Seems there’s something about small town life that drives people crazy, Emily thinks out loud.

JJ chuckles. Emily has NO idea.

They get their profile and unsub quickly, only this time it’s Reid who holds them up. He took a lead pipe to the knee and needs to wait for an orthopedic consult before he can fly. The rest of the team takes advantage of the opportunity for some down time and decides to stay the night.

The town is small enough that they have to double up in the hotel. Derek makes a smart ass comment about feeling bad for the person rooming with Emily -; she has a tendency to use up all the towels without telling anyone -, sealing his fate as her roommate for the duration of the case. JJ rooms with Reid.

Fresh from a shower, her bag packed and ready to go, Emily is just settling in to read when her phone buzzes on the stand beside her.

_I need your help w/something. Meet in my room?_

JJ. Emily sighs, looking at the short shorts and tiny tank top she’s wearing and shrugs. She’s so tired she really doesn’t care if the guys see her this exposed; and Morgan’s reaction last night was enough. She chuckles at the memory of his jaw dropping as she slips on flip flops and grabs her key.

*~*~*~*~*~*

She’s barely finished knocking when JJ pulls her into the room. She slams Emily into the door, crushing her mouth to the startled brunette’s.

Emily lets out a squeak before relaxing into the kiss, JJ’s hands tangling in her damp hair. They break apart, breathless and panting and Emily raises an eyebrow at JJ.

“What exactly did you need help with, Jayje?”

JJ’s cheeks are flushed, her eyes bright and impossibly blue.

“Shut up and kiss me, Em.” JJ growls, pulling Emily’s mouth to hers again. JJ’s hands move from Emily’s hair, sliding down her arms and across the strip of bare skin between the hem of her tank top and the waist band of her shorts.

Everywhere JJ touches burns and tingles; Emily moans, her own hands wander all over JJ.

The blonde shakes her head and takes Emily’s hands, leads her to the bed closest to the door. She nudges the brunette until she’s sitting on the bed. Emily tries again to get her hands on JJ, who shakes her head again and whispers “my turn.”

“Jayje” Emily is almost pleading “please!?”

“Em, really, just shut up and relax.” JJ kisses her again. “I’ve been thinking about this since you boarded the jet. Just…be patient and let me do this.” Emily finally takes a moment to *really* look at JJ.

Her eyes are wide and bright, filled with a slight hint of nerves and hesitation. And Emily suddenly understands – JJ may have stuffed the memories of their night under the fireworks in a pretty little box but she hadn’t forgotten. And she wants her turn; her curiosity is piqued and while she isn’t totally confident, she has a need and hunger she can’t deny anymore. Emily’s been there, and she can’t stop JJ even if she wanted to.

She reads the questions in JJ’s eyes and nods slightly. A small smile plays across JJ’s lips as she leans in for another kiss, this time slow and sensual.

Her hands go back to Emily’s stomach, her fingers playing at the hem of her top. Emily groans, her body on fire and her patience wearing thin.

JJ pulls back, lifts Emily’s shirt, and removes it smoothly. She gasps when she sees that Emily’s not wearing a bra. She cups the brunette’s breasts tentatively, feeling the weight of them. Her fingers shake a little as she moves them over the smooth skin, brushing Emily’s nipples until they’re dusky, hard peaks.

Emily moans JJ’s name, arches her back into the blonde’s hands. “JJ, if you don’t do something soon, I…” her breath catches when JJ moves to take one of the hardened nipples into her mouth.  She takes her time, all tongue and teeth, experimenting, exploring.  She sucks on the swell of Emily’s breast, leaves a mark that will bruise later.

JJ has to admit that she kind of likes the idea that she can mark Emily as hers. Even if Emily can’t do the same in return.

She nudges Emily back onto the bed, her hands trailing down Emily’s sides and pushing her shorts down as she goes. JJ kneels between Emily’s ankles, sits back on her feet, and takes in Emily’s lithe form lying beneath her.  The brunette is long and thin, her ivory skin glowing and contrasting against her dark hair and eyes.

Emily flushes under JJ’s scrutiny, a delicate pink tinting her cheeks and down her chest. She squirms slightly, her breaths coming in short little pants. “JJ, please…” she pleads.

“Emily, I – I don’t…” JJ starts, embarrassed and unsure.

“JJ, it’s ok. It – just – just do what comes naturally.” Emily blushes, remembering how awkward her first experience was and how her lover had been so patient and understanding, more or less talking her through it. “I’ll let you know…” her voice trails off as JJ nods.

JJ runs her hands up the outsides of Emily’s legs, marveling at just how soft the brunette’s skin is. Her touch is light, becomes more confident as JJ reaches Emily’s hips and runs her hands across Emily’s stomach.

JJ rises to her knees, leans over and kisses Emily’s stomach, hips, down her thigh, before settling herself on her stomach between Emily’s thighs.  She nudges Emily’s knees, encouraging her to open up to her, allowing JJ better access. JJ takes a minute to just look, to get her bearings, and to work out in her head that she is really going to do this. It’s all new and unexpected but she can’t seem to stop herself, she’s still drawn to Emily like a moth to a flame.

Emily bucks her hips impatiently, groans JJ’s name again in that pleading tone. She understands the hesitance and the exploration but she’s beyond turned on and getting impatient.

JJ takes a deep breath, kisses the inside of Emily’s thigh, and turns her attention to the brunette’s core. Her tongue darts out, hesitantly at first, teases, sucks, nips, gaining confidence as Emily moans above her. Emily whispers guidance, tells JJ what feels good, encourages her to increase or decrease pressure, speed, direction.

Emily is at the edge of release when JJ pulls away and slinks her way up Emily’s body, kissing her hard. Emily groans, her head swims when she tastes herself on JJ’s mouth. JJ’s hand moves to replace her mouth, teasing Emily back to the edge before plunging two fingers into her. JJ groans at how tight Emily is around her fingers, her muscles already clenching as an orgasm begins to roll through her. Emily’s hips pump in tandem with JJ’s fingers, her hands tangling in JJ’s hair to keep the blonde’s mouth on hers as she comes. JJ swallows Emily’s cries as she comes, soaking JJ’s hand.

JJ groans Emily’s name, slows her fingers, draws out Emily’s orgasm as the brunette shudders beneath her. Both women are panting, a sheen of sweat covers them. JJ pulls her head back enough to meet Emily’s eyes and licks her lips nervously. Her blue eyes are shining, and she searches Emily’s for approval. Emily chuckles quietly at what she sees in JJ’s eyes, groans as JJ slowly removes her fingers and settles in next to her.

Emily rolls onto her side, cups JJ’s face with her hand, kisses her softly and nods. She smiles softly as she feels JJ sigh and relax against her.  Their wrap themselves around one another as their breathing slows. Emily shivers slightly, kisses JJ on the forehead and moves to get dressed.

“I should get back before Morgan notices I’m gone. The fewer questions, the better” Emily meets JJ’s eyes, relieved to see the blonde nod in agreement.

“Emily, I – “she sighs “I don’t know what this is. I love Will. I want Will. But, this – this is something so different and I – “Emily closes the space between them, cups JJ’s face with her hands.

“Jayje? Shut up and kiss me.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Emily closes the door quietly, leans against it with a sigh, and moves silently through the room. She tiptoes to her bed, determined not to wake the sleeping Morgan, and groans when she finds her blanket missing, lying in a pile in the corner with the towels she’d used for her shower.


	3. Dirty Little Secret

Dirty Little Secret

When we live such fragile lives  
It's the best way we survive  
I go around a time or two  
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away  
Find out games you don't wanna play  
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
Who as to know?  
~The All-American Rejects

They're only home for twelve hours when Garcia sends out the text calling them back in.

They stagger into the conference room, all bleary-eyed and exhausted. Morgan is still in sweats; Emily's got her hair tied up in a messy ponytail. Reid and JJ mirror one another as they rub sleep from their eyes. They glare at Hotch and Rossi, neither of whom appear the least bit tired.

This time they have to fly to San Diego. There's a serial rapist who, SDPD believes, has turned murderer and they've hit a dead end. They need the BAU's help and can't wait any longer. He's accelerated and is raping and killing two women a day now.

Emily swears under her breath when Garcia pulls up pictures of the victims - they're all brunettes in the mid-to-late thirties. She hates when she's the unsub's "type". She feels like the entire team gets over-protective and smothering. She feels JJ's eyes on her already and it takes everything she has to avoid making eye contact.

They get their files and information from Garcia and are on the jet before JJ is able to finish the first of what's sure to be many cups of coffee.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The flight to San Diego is long enough that, once they review the case, everyone settles in to sleep. Emily stretches out across a row of seats and smiles softly as she watches Reid offer JJ his shoulder as a pillow. The blond is asleep before she can smile back.

They hit the ground running when they land; their unsub has already raped and killed one woman and it's a race against the clock if they're going to save his next victim.

Hotch sends Emily and JJ to talk to the most recent victim's family. It's the first time they've been alone since JJ called Emily to her room; the first chance they've had to talk. And it's the worst possible timing. JJ sighs as she climbs into the SUV, buckles up as Emily starts it and pulls out into traffic. She hates that Emily fits the victimology so well, even if it's only physically at this point, and a part of her wishes Hotch had partnered her up with Reid or Rossi. 

They pull up to the house, having spent the entire ride in silence, and JJ lets Emily take the lead as they question their victim's parents and younger sister. She's distracted, and frustrated by the fact that Emily is doing the compartmentalizing that she does and is acting like nothing has happened. Just being close to her is driving JJ crazy and a part of her hopes the case takes a day or two just so that they have a couple nights in the hotel room. She knows it's sick and twisted, hoping more girls are hurt, but she needs to get Emily out of her system. It has to be while they're on the road - if she takes this home with her, it could destroy everything she holds dear.

They get as much information from the family as they can, and it's more than they expected, considering how distraught the family is. They want justice for their daughter and to keep other women safe, and it shows in their willingness to push their sadness aside and answer all of Emily's questions.

As they climb back into the SUV, Emily turns to JJ. "What's going on, Jayje? You hardly said two words in there."

JJ pulls out her phone, putting a finger up to Emily as she calls Hotch, relays the information they'd gotten in the interview. Emily huffs angrily and starts the SUV, pulling out into traffic. Her jaw is set in angry lines, the combination of realizing she is EXACTLY the unsub's type and JJ's deflection testing her patience. 

JJ ends the call with Hotch and turns to take in Emily's profile. The brunette has always been a easy read for her and right now her anger and frustration are plain as day. She clears her throat, taking a deep breath, and dives in. 

"Emily, I'm sorry. It's just - well - you know how hard it is when one of the team so perfectly fits the unsub's victimology. It was bad enough before, but now, it's worse than normal." She draws a shaky breath. "Especially since I can't stop thinking about the other night." She finishes quickly, her cheeks going pink.

Emily's cheek flush and her breath catches. She'd shoved all the memories and feelings deep into their own little box, compartmentalizing as she did when something threatens to be a distraction or make her feel. It was easier to just push it all down and forget about it; to do what they were there to do and head home, back to the "friend zone" that she and JJ had established. 

"JJ, don't. Don't worry about me fitting victimology. The guys will hover and protect enough. Don't let what has happened between us cloud your judgment or distract you. Let's just do what we're here to do and get back home." She didn't add "where it's safe", but JJ heard it just the same. And she understood. Emily didn't deserve to be her dirty little secret, and the longer they were here, so far from Quantico and Will, the more likely it was that she would become just that.

"Emily - "

"Jayje, don't." Emily hears the apology in JJ's voice and cuts her off. "I was there too. I started this, really. And I'm a big girl, I'll take responsibility for my part and for my feelings. I knew this wouldn't ever become more than what it is and I'm fine with that. I'd rather that than risk our friendship and your marriage. Will is a good guy, a great dad, and you deserve to be happy and loved."

JJ sighs, puts her hand over Emily's on the steering wheel. "You deserve those things too, you know." she replies softly.

Emily swallows hard past the lump that forms in her throat, blinks away the tears that sting her eyes. JJ doesn't know, can't understand, that Emily won't ever have those things. And she's come to terms with that. She's made her choices and mistakes, done her penance, and has moved past it. She's destined for a lifetime of random encounters that last a handful of fiery and passionate weeks, just to disappear as quickly and, more often than not, dramatically as they crashed into her life.

She shakes her head to clear away these thoughts and steals a glance at JJ as she waits for the red light to change. "Let's just catch our unsub and get you home to your family."

JJ opens her mouth to argue, but something about the steely look in Emily's eyes causes her to reconsider. Her friend's mind is made up, and nothing JJ says will sway her. But she can't leave it like this, leave Emily feeling used and unworthy of anything more or deeper. She'll just have to find another way.

*~*~*~*~*~*

They reconvene at the station to give the local law enforcment officials the profile. They bounce back and forth, each taking their turn to give input into their unsub, just as they always do. The local officials, having their assignments, disperse, leaving just the BAU team member behind.

They all look expectantly to Hotch, eager to make their next move and head home for what they hope will be slightly more down time.

Hotch looks over his team, takes in the lines of exhaustion evident in their bodies, the dark circles under their eyes. He gives them all credit, they're tough and determined and have hidden how tired they truly are well from the locals. He, however, knows his team better than that.

"There isn't much else we can do until the unsub makes another move and we have more information to pass along to Garcia. Let's head to the hotel and get some rest." The team sighs in relief, grateful to have even an hour to take a hot shower and pull themselves together.

They check in, two to a room, and get settled. Emily and JJ room together, against Hotch's better judgement. He'd feel better if Emily was with him or Morgan, considering her likeness to the unsub's previous victims, but they'd grabbed the keys before he'd had the chance to say anything. He knew that she could take care of herself and had to be satisifed with knowing that he and Rossi were rooming together right next to them.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Emily sighs as she steps out of the shower and begins to towel dry her hair. The hot water had done the trick, waking her up and helping her to shake off the unsteadiness she's been feeling since her talk with JJ. It's not like her to get so emotional, and she blames it on the stress of this case coming so closely on the heels of their last one.

She wraps her towel around her, smirks at how silly the modesty feels in light of the events of the past few days, and pads out to her go-bag. She's sorting through the bag when she feels JJ come up behind her. 

JJ pushes Emily's hair to the side, her lips ghosting over Emily's neck. Emily tilts her head to the side, granting JJ better access. JJ's arms wrap around Emily, pulling the towel open and pushing it away. Her hands cup Emily's breasts as Emily leans back into her.

JJ can feel the brunette's pulse beating under her lips and she groans softly. Just knowing that she's causing Emily's heart to race like that turns her on and she needs more. She's also very aware that Hotch could call them back into the field at any minute, and it would be a shame to interrupt this.

She turns Emily toward her and pushes the go-bag from the bed. Her lips and hands never leave Emily's body as she pushes the woman back onto the bed. Emily tries to protest, the timing isn't great, but JJ silences her with a well-placed finger on her clit.

She grins when she feels how wet Emily already is, plunging two fingers into her without hesitation. The thrill of never knowing when the phone will ring has her adrenaline pumping and gives her a sense of urgency she didn't have before.

"Oh, God, JJ!" Emily bucks her hips against JJ's hand, begs the blond for more, the tension not quite enough. 

JJ smirks, eyebrow raised, as she adds two more fingers, pumping in and out of Emily hard enough that the headboard bounces slightly against the wall. Her blue eyes sparkle mischieviously as she flips her hair over her shoulder and flicks her tongue against Emily's clit. Her hand never stops and Emily is calling out JJ's name, her body convulsing, in record time.

Emily sits up, her body still shuddering in the aftershocks of her orgasm, and slides her hand up the inside of JJ's thigh. Her thigh is wet, and Emily moans her appreciation when she discovers that JJ isn't wearing underwear under her skirt. Emily wastes no time, plunges three fingers into JJ, her thumb making circles over the blonde's clit. 

JJ's head drops to Emily's shoulder, and she bites the brunette's neck as she comes, leaving deep indents that will definitely bruise. JJ slumps against Emily, completely sated, and groans as both of their phones chime.

JJ rolls off of Emily and grabs her phone. "It's a text from Hotch. Garcia's found something that might be useful." She moves to kiss Emily on the head before heading into the bathroom to clean up and change her clothes.

Emily hurriedly pulls on jeans and a t-shirt, hopping up and down slightly as she zips up her boots. Her hair has dried in messy waves, and she grabs a hair tie as she stuffs her phone in her back pocket. 

The women leave the room together, JJ holding Emily's blazer as she pulls her hair into the neatest ponytail she can manage. Hotch and Rossi meet them in the hallway; Rossi takes in the flushed cheeks and messy ponytail and bites back a smile. 

Emily takes the jacket from JJ, and turns to look quizically at Rossi when he takes her by the elbow, giving Hotch and JJ a chance to get a little ahead of them.

"It's, ah, none of my business, really, Emily" his lips twitch as he tries to hold back a grin and his eyes twinkle "but a little ice will keep that mark there from bruising." He brushes his fingers over the bite mark JJ has left and laughs when Emily's face flushes red. She pulls her jacket on, vainly trying to get the collar to cover the mark, making Rossi laugh louder.

She huffs and glares at him before hurrying after JJ and Hotch.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Garcia's find proves incredibly helpful and they apprehend their unsub before he has a chance to kill his newest victim. She has, however been raped and badly beaten, and Emily sighs sadly when she thinks about what it's going to take for her to heal.

The unsub takes a long good look at Emily when Hotch ushers him past, licking his lips and moaning slightly. It makes a shudder run through her; she doesn't back down, but instead stares him dead in the eye.

"Why do you always challenge these psychos?" murmered in her ear, illiciting a completely different kind of shudder.

"Same reason you do, I guess. Not giving them the satisfaction of thinking they have any power." She shrugs, heading back to the SUV. Now that the unsub has been apprehended and is the local law enforcement's problem, they'll go back to the hotel to pack up and be back on the jet within the hour.

Part of Emily wishes they'd get one more night here before going to back to their norm (and being JJ's dirty little secret), but bigger part thinks maybe it's for the best that they aren't. She's exhausted and ready for a good night's sleep in her bed, and maybe a couple of days off for good measure.

They get back to the hotel and Hotch gathers them together in the lobby. "We're staying the night. Garcia did a thing, we have the rooms for an extra night on the Bureau, and we can all agree that we could use the rest. Wheels up at 8:00 tomorrow morning."

The stagger off toward the elevators, Reid talking to JJ about some book he's been looking forward to reading, Morgan and Rossi making dinner plans. Hotch sidles up to Emily, a twinkle in his eye, his dimples just visible as he holds back a smirk. "Thought you and JJ could use the extra time, just, ah, maybe pull the bed away from the wall a little."

He chuckles when she cuffs him on the arm, her cheeks flushed a delicate pink. "We'll try not to keep you and Rossi up - but I can't make any promises." 

Hotch smiles briefly, before suddenly becoming serious. He puts a hand on her arm, stopping her from boarding the elevator with the rest of the team, waving them on. "Seriously though, Emily. You're secret is safe with me and Dave, but it won't be long til Morgan and Reid figure it out." She nodded, huffed out a sigh. She'd already thought of that. "All that matters to us is that you are both happy and safe." He rubbed her arm as she mumbled "I know. Thanks."

*~*~*~*~*~*

They part at their doors, Hotch grins at her one more time, and she chuckles.

 

She leans against the door when it closes, can hear the shower running and grins wickedly. She quickly strips right there in the doorway before joining JJ in the shower. The blonde jumps and lets out a shriek of surprise when she feels hands snake up to cup her breasts.

"Hotch and Rossi know." The statement is punctuated with a kiss on JJ's neck. "Obviously they won't say anything." Another kiss. "But it won't be long til Reid and Morgan figure it out." Kiss. "And Pen." Kiss. "I won't be your dirty little secret for too much longer." Emily hesitates before placing another kiss on JJ's neck, sighs at the tightness in her chest that statement has caused. She knew JJ would never really be *hers* and it was never a problem for her. But knowing that *this* might have to end sooner rather than later was different.

JJ turns in Emily's embrace, cups her face in her hands and kisses her softly. "Knowing they'll keep to their word and not say anything, I have no intentions of quitting you any time soon. We've got our terms, we're both satisfied with them, and I see no reason why anything has to change until we're good and ready for it to." She grins mischievously, licks her lips slowly. "Emily, you will always be my dirty little secret." The statement is ended in a kiss that reaches all the way down to Emily's toes, causes her core to instantly throb and ache. By the end of the kiss, Emily is all but begging JJ to take her right there in the shower.

JJ is all too happy to oblige.


	4. Stay With Me

Stay With Me

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand  
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man  
These nights never seem to go to plan  
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

Oh, won't you stay with me?  
'Cause you're all I need  
This ain't love it's clear to see  
But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?  
No it's not a good look, gain some self control  
And deep down I know this never works  
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

~Sam Smith

 

Will and Henry are in the bullpen when the team gets back. Henry's sitting in Garcia's lap, laughing at a joke his godmother has just told, his eyes shining bright. They light up and he hops out of her lap when he sees his godfather push through the glass doors. 

JJ can see his little blonde head pop up as Spencer lifts him into the air. Realizing how close she's walking next to Emily, she moves away; creates space. 

Emily frowns slightly as she feels JJ pull away from her side, putting a little more space between them as they follow Reid into the room. She has to remind herself that here JJ is Will's and Henry's and that they are just colleague's; friends. 

JJ's fingers brush Emily's as she moves past the brunette and wraps her arms around her husband. There's a tightening in Emily's chest as she sees the pure happiness and love shining in JJ's eyes as she gives Will a hello kiss; realizes that JJ has already tucked her into a pretty little box to be taken out on their next night "away". 

She clenches her jaw, blinks away the tingling threat of tears, silently tells herself to get a grip. This is what she'd wanted, what she'd agreed to. JJ's "dirty little secret", a friend with ocassional benefits, nothing more. She's supposed to be ok with that; and logically, in her head, she is. Nothing has changed, they're still friends, she knows this. She's annoyed with herself when she realizes that for the first time in her life, her heart doesn't agree.

Hotch stops just behind Emily, murmurs "you ok?" in her ear. 

"Yeah." Her voice is husky with unexpressed emotion and unshed tears and it pisses her off. She huffs out a sigh, clears her throat and turns her head to meet his eye. "Yeah, I'm ok." She adds "I have to be" almost as an afterthought.

He can see the moment she takes everything and shoves it into its box, sees the change in her eyes as the mask slips into place. Here she is JJ's friend, nothing more, nothing less. He can't help but worry a little about how Emily is going to fare through all of this, but has to acknowledge that she says she knows what she's doing and that she'll be ok. 

He moves to rub his hand down her arm, pulls back when she whispers "Don't, please", and lets her move away from him. She slips past the couple, moves to her desk and starts pulling files from her bag. Hotch had dismissed them from the jet, but the last thing she wants to do is go home to the quiet solitude of her apartment. 

She settles in at her desk and starts to fill in her reports, ignoring the others. Garcia and Morgan ask her to join them for dinner and drinks but she begs off, claiming to want to get ahead on her paperwork. When JJ tries to meet her eye to say goodbye, she simply murmers something along the lines of have a nice night and gives a half-hearted wave.

Rossi and Hotch watch from the walkway above, their expressions identical, their lips pressed into thin lines, concern lining their eyes. Rossi sighs, shakes his head. "I hope she knows what she's getting herself into."

Hotch hums his agreement. He gives her one last long look before going into his office.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Reid takes his time gathering all of his files and putting them into his messenger bag. It's rare for Emily to stay behind and finish files, especially when they've been given two days off. She looks exhausted and lonely.

He takes a breath, trying to think of something to say, and exhales loudly as she signs the last report and tosses it into the basket on her desk. She stands, gathers her jacket and go bag and nods at Reid.

"Good night, Spencer."

He nods and mutters good night, stays by his desk for a split second before calling out to her. "Emily, wait! I'll ride down with you." He grabs his bag, taking long strides to catch up with her.

She's fidgety while they wait for the elevator; once they board, she starts picking at her thumb nail. He realizes something is definitely off and just can't put his finger on what it could be.

"Emily?" He waits for her to respond; she hums quietly, avoids meeting his eyes. "Is everything OK?"

She huffs out a breath. "I really wish everyone would stop asking me that. I'm fine, everything is fine. Just really, really tired and looking forward to getting home and sleeping in my own bed."

Reid almost points out that she'd chosen to stay and finish after action reports, which contradicts what she just told him, but wisely stops himself. Instead, he bumps her shoulder with his, forcing her to look at him, and smiles gently. "As long as you're sure. And - if you need to talk - " He's awkward and a little uncomfortable, but she's his friend, and he's worried. She sees it in his eyes, and wonders what he can see in hers. 

Her eyes tear up and she blinks them back, smiles softly at him. "Thanks, Reid."

They go their separate ways at the building's entrance and he sighs deeply as he watches her head to her car. He knows she's lying, knows there's something going on, and just hopes she remembers to ask for help before she's in too deep.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Emily stands under the hot water, letting it pelt against her shoulders and back until it goes cold. She towels herself dry and pulls on sweats and tank top before making her way to the kitchen.

There she makes a sandwich and grabs a beer, sighing as she sinks onto the couch. She finds a movie on the television, one she won't have to pay much attention to, and lets her mind wander as she eats.

She's never minded one night stands and short little flings; in fact, with her job, they've always been easier to manage. Her parents never really taught her much about commitment to anything other than their careers, and if she's honest, the idea of commiting herself to another person for any length of time is daunting. There's too much risk of disappointment, both hers and theirs.

Trust has always been an issue, too. She's only ever truly trusted Matthew, and he's gone now. Sure, she trusts her team on a professional level, trusts them with her life, in fact. She just doesn't trust them with her secrets or emotions. 

She's only ever been in love, she thinks, once in her life. And that had been a mistake, ill-fated from the start, and had ended exactly as it should have. Unfortunately, that ending had been disasterous and had broken her.

She'd stuffed that heartbreak into a box, though, as she was prone to do, and had moved on, resolving to never put herself in that position again. She was, she told herself, perfectly content with her flings and one night stands.

Until now. Until JJ. She is falling, hard and fast, and can't stop the spiral. And she is sure it will be as disasterous and heartbreaking as the last time. 

She is well into her second movie and fourth beer when there's a knock at her door. She looks at the clock - it's late, too late for this guest to be anything but an emergency or a problem.

Emily stumbles slightly as she makes her way to the door, grabbing her gun as a precaution as she looks through the peep hole. 

"JJ?" Confusion fills her voice as she fumbles with the locks and pulls the door open. "What's wrong?"

JJ's blue eyes are wide and sparkling with unshed tears. She pushes past Emily, goes straight to the couch and plops down, running her hand through her hair. 

Emily grabs JJ a beer, hands it to her before sitting on the other end of the couch. She takes a pull of her own beer and waits for JJ to talk to her.

JJ drains half of her beer in one breath and sighs heavily. Her eyes meet Emily's and they're clearer, hard and determined.

"I had to get out of there. It was stifling; I've never noticed how much of a presence Will is until tonight. I love him, I do, but I felt like I was drowning in him, in the domesticity of being there with him and Henry. I just needed space and didn't know where else to go." She rambles, the words rushing out and tumbling over one another. "It's like, I don't know, like my brain is still on the road, out there, in some other town - " she didn't add "with you" but Emily heard it loud and clear anyway - "even though my body is here."

"Jayje - " Emily's voice is full of warning; her heart is pounding in her chest and she can feel hope starting to rise up. She does her best to squash it, to quiet the butterflies beating around in her stomach. "What did you tell Will?"

"That I was restless and antsy from this last case. That I was still on San Diego time and needed to go for a drive. And not to wait up."

Blue eyes meet brown and Emily feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room.

"JJ?" Just her name, loaded with a thousand questions, a mix of emotions. Emily squashes her feelings back into their box. 

JJ sighs, takes another drink of her beer, and pushes to her feet to pace back and forth across the room. "I don't know, Em." She pushes her hand through her hair. "I don't   
know." 

Emily takes JJ's hand as she passes by, pulls her to sit next to her on the couch. "JJ, if I'm going to walk away from this with even a little bit of my heart in tact, it has to be now. I could have pushed the feelings down and ignored them if you'd gone home to Will, but you're here now, with me, and I can't keep that line from blurring. I know it's not fair, and I'm far from being a homewrecker, despite the horrible decisions I've been known to make in the past, but right now all I want is to ask you to stay here, with me. Just one night, one chance to see what I'm missing. What Will gets to have everyday. Consequences be damned."

Emily's eyes meet JJ's and search them. They've agreed not to profile one another, but in this moment Emily can't help it. She knows she'll get a more honest answer from JJ's eyes than she will from her words and she finds herself holding her breath in anticipation.

She *almost* feels like she won't care what the answer is, as long as it's a definitive one.

Seconds tick by, an eternity passes, before JJ responds. 

She takes Emily's face in her hands and kisses her hard. It's all teeth and tongue and fire and Emily finds herself drowning in it. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Emily groans as her hand darts out to hit the snooze on her alarm. The ringing doesn't stop and it takes her a minute to realize that it's her phone, not her clock. She squints at the display, groaning again when she sees the time, cursing the asshole who has decided that 3 AM is an acceptable time to call. She considers ignoring the call, but a voice in her head admonishes her. It could be an emergency, after all. 

She sighs and answers without checking the contact.

"Emily? It's Will. Sorry to call so late, but Jennifer never came home last night and I'm a little worried. Have you heard from her?" Will's worried voice cuts through the sleepy fog and Emily tries to sit up, only then realizing that there's an arm slung across her bare stomach, holding her down.

She groans again, swallows hard and clears her throat. "Ah...yeah. She came here and had a couple of beers so she crashed on the couch. She's ok. I thought she'd sent you a text before crashing - " She lets her voice trail off, tries to shrug off the guilt she feels lying to Will. He really is a good guy and she hates what they're doing to him. But whatever this is between her and JJ is a force to be reckoned with and she can't see anyway for them to fight or stop it.

It's just better to let it run its course.

Will sighs with relief. "I'm glad she's safe. Thanks for being such a good friend to her, Emily."

Emily mumbles a reply and ends the call, the guilt overwhelming her. She watches JJ sleep, the moonlight making her hair glow like a halo around her head. Her mind wanders back....

JJ stood, pulling Emily up with her. She led Emily to her bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake. They lowered themselves to the bed in tandem, never losing physical contact with one another.

JJ moved above Emily , her fingers sliding over Emily's clit, slowly bringing her to the brink before backing off and bringing her down over and over again. There was a slow determination to JJ's strokes, sure and steady, without the hurried rush of all the other times. She wasn't in any hurry to leave, at least not until she was sure about what she wanted.

All of the other times, it had just been about the instant gratification, the passion, the difference between sex with Will and sex with Emily. Now, JJ had to know if there were similiarties. She knew she loved Emily, but was she in love with Emily, like she was in love with Will? Could the sex with a woman be the same, mean the same, as sex with a man?

And if it was, did that mean JJ was redefining who she was?

Emily could feel the shift in JJ, felt the difference in her touch. She moved languidly beneath the blonde, groaning every time JJ brought her back down from the edge. Emily pushed up on her elbows, bringing her mouth to JJ's; the kiss was deep, probing, She poured everything she had into that kiss. And in that kiss Emily realized that she could never love JJ the way she needed to be loved. That she'd never be in love with her, and that she was content with that. 

"Em?" JJ pulled back from the kiss, her eyes full of questions.

""I get it, JJ. But I'm not what you want or need, not in the long run, and that's ok. What we have is perfect for us. We make our own rules and let it run it's course. I will always love you, Jennifer, but never like Will does. I'm not capable of that, not now, maybe not ever." JJ opened her mouth to disagree and Emily silenced her with a gentle kiss. "Don't worry about me, don't feel any guilt. It's ok." Emily kissed JJ again, deeper, her hips moving under JJ's hand.

They made love slowly, gently, and Emily knew without a doubt that she'd made the right choice.

JJ stirs, moans a little as she stretches, and Emily can't help but smile. As long as she's known her, JJ has never been a morning person. "What time is it?" the blonde mumbles into her pillow. 

"3:00. Will just called."

"Shit. What -- " she clears her throat. "What did you tell him?"

"He was worried when you didn't come home. I told him you crashed on the couch." Emily brushes JJ's hair back from her face. "He's a good man, Jen." 

JJ nods with a sigh. "I know. And I love him. I know what we have is good and solid. I just hate feeling like this is going to hurt you in the long run."

"Don't worry about me, babe. I'll be ok. Promise." Emily grins at JJ, kisses her on the forehead. "We'll keep going the way we are until you don't want to anymore. And then we'll move on."

"Just like that?" JJ looks skeptical. It sounds too easy.

"Just like that."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emily boxes away whatever regrets still linger over her decision to let JJ go. JJ never tells Will the truth about the night that she walked out. They go on, picking up their lives where they left off, as if nothing has happened between them. 

Emily can feel Hotch's eyes on her more often, and eventually tells him everything, just to get him to stop worrying. She assures him that she's content with the decisions she's made; happy with the life she's built. 

He nods, although she can see the doubt in his eyes.

On their next trip out of town, she notices that she and JJ have the room right next to Hotch and Rossi - and that the beds have been pulled away from the wall for them.


End file.
